is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Randomize
