i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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