We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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