we have pet lesbian snakes
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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