omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
well you can't waste a boner
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Randomize
