Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just invented taco cereal.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
