ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
