a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
