The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
