Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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