If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
