So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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