I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
