Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
