You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
