No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
