hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Randomize
