if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
