I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
