I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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