I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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