what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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