who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize