I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
