i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
