i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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