i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
