It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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