You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize