so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
