How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
we're making bets on your personal life
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize