FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
