see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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