I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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