question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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