oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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