I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
