Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
