i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
