sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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