I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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