You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
