He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Michael Bay diarrhea
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
