I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
