You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
