1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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