I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize