Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
