Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
