I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
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