YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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