dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
