Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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