I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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