you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
