It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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