i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
