do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
