He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
