1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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