So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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