so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
