also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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