i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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