You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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